"In any area where we are afraid of our child's reaction, we have lost control as parents."
I am not even sure exactly when this thought came to me. It came to me this past week, in one of the many encounters where my will went against the will of one of my older sons. I could point to so many instances where I have seen this played out, though.
"It is time to turn off the movie and come to dinner." Tears.
"Chore time!" Stomping defiance
"We are going to prayer meeting tonight." Angry words
"It is time to start school." Protests and then more protests.
Sometimes, I don't do what I need to do because I don't want to deal with the aftershocks of my words. Tears. Anger, Defiance. Moodiness. Talking back.
Just recognizing this truth has helped. Recognizing that I don't always do what is BEST because of the reaction of an elementary school student....really?? Give me a backbone, God, because I need to be able to parent my children!
To teach my children that defiance is not appropriate.
That talking back is not allowed.
That this is our schedule, and this IS what will be happening.
Character training has become more of a priority.
Yes, there is grace, Yes, we give second chances. Yes, the kids can question me once they have responded obediently.
But when the house is run by children, no one is happy. No one is growing. There is chaos, and there is a spirit of unruliness.
My children are still children. I am still aware of the triggers for each child. Yet, within my love and concern for them, I am learning to BE the parent. I am learning that I am called to lead and guide them. At this stage in their life, leading and guiding means that I am setting up schedules, time frames, activities and boundaries as I see fit.
There is freedom for my children in this. Freedom to get school work done in a timely manner. Freedom to interact peacefully with their siblings without the interruption of bad attitudes. Freedom to experience new things (prayer meeting) and discover that God is working in ways they never dreamed. Freedom to learn from me rather than question everything I say.
It is a little thing, perhaps, but I am enjoying being a mom on a new level because I am free to be the parent God called me to be to my children. I am free to seek Him, and then lead out of what He shows me.
Thank you, God, for revealing this truth to me.
