I walked into Pure & Simple. Bought my coffee. Walked over to my seat. A man glanced up from his book and caught my eye. No flirting or welcoming smile. Just a glance.
I sat down, aware that I had no wedding ring on. A size 5 ring was a bit too big when I was first married. I haven't been able to wear it again since Colson's pregnancy.
So, there I was. Possibly single, sitting a table away from a possibly single guy. What would it be like if I was single, available, and he started a conversation? We would laugh, smile, enjoy the mystery of each other. He would get to know me...
I remember the freedom- and pain- of singleness, when encounters like this were okay. Normal. The joy of possibility.
Now, I was married, and the rules were different. Any open door now was an entrance, a step towards the breaking of vows- to love, honor and cherish only my husband. No wiggle room in this.
There was no pounding of my heart. No flushed cheeks. No wishing he would accidentally catch my eye. No, I am very happily married- but more than that, I am cemented in my marriage, committed to this marriage, to giving my heart only to my husband til death parts us. In other words, forever.
This could be an open door in so many ways...if I allowed the door to remain open.
I picked up my phone. Delton, I texted, when I think of love- what never ends, what captures my heart- I think of you. So excited about the journey we are on. (what are we doing tomorrow evening on our date?)
And the door was closed. Locked. Shut. My heart beat true for my one and only.
Life happens. Do you know where you stand?
