Obedience. To obey. My kids obey. Sometimes. And they don't obey. Sometimes. And sometimes, they sort of obey. Obedience gets fuzzy.
And then God requires something of me. An act of obedience, and no longer is obedience fuzzy. No longer is it "maybe I did, maybe I didn't, who cares".
Suddenly, obedience becomes a razor sharp, crystal clear decision. To obey. To do what God asks. To set my face in the direction I am called to go. To turn my back (ouch. oh, it hurts) on what I am called to leave behind.
I obey, or I don't. And I know when I haven't obeyed- the uncomfortable rationalizing that leaves me frustrated. Stagnant. And I know when I have chosen obedience, the painful yes to what has been asked of me. After the pain, in the midst of the pain, comes peace. Rest. Surrender into the gentle hands that have molded me and continue to mold me into His vision of perfection.
When I know in my heart that I need to obey, I also know that I have heard the voice of the One who loves me best. Perhaps it is that knowing that gives me the courage to do what I need to do, knowing that it is my good that He seeks.
